Friday, February 24, 2012

Countdown to the Oscar’s: A few [silly] predictions …
I love the Oscars! Love the glamour, the red carpet, the silly speeches not so much, the jokes, the fashion (Joan Rivers you better be ready I’m taping Fashion police). This Sunday February 26th, the 84th Annual Academy Awards AKA the Oscars rounds up the awards season and the big question is always: Who will win? I admit I haven’t seen all the nominated movies this year but I am pretty good at bullshitting about movies and stuff and I have watched a lot of HBO, Netflix and DVD rentals (Those of you who bother to read my movie reviews would know). A lot of bloggers and movie geeks and critics have their Oscar buzzes and predictions and some of them even talk about movies and actors and actresses that aren’t nominated. You know, those quirky, odd performances in those independent movies that nobody watched except for this one movie critic who got a free screening and wowed to write about it. Who cares? So here goes. This year’s nominations – do we care or not?

The Artist: This year all bets are on The Artist (10 noms) so actors and actresses beware; forget about thanking your parents, spouses or God as long as you not forget to thank Harvey “The Punisher” Weinstein! Not only does he have a big pocketbook and a few friends in the movie industry he also is known for being a Magician. He simply makes some boring movie sounds like something you just can’t miss.  

The Tree of Life
: I see that nobody is nominated in the acting category for this movie. That’s because there were no acting. They were barely dreaming.

Moneyball: Another Brad Pitt movie. Someone said recently that Mr. Pitt is looking old at 50 years. Hey, at least he’s keeping up with the family and working non-stop in boring movies. Anyone doing that would look tired.   

The Descendants: If it wasn’t for George Clooney’s star power (he directs too) Hallmark Movie Channel could easily have made a cheesier version of this movie.

The Iron Lady
: Meryl Streep is a beautiful woman. Margaret Thatcher is not (sorry Britons). Thatcher ruled Britain for a decade and Meryl Streep has been an actress even longer than that. She can literally pull off almost anything; a fashion icon, an Italian lady, a French cook and even a country singer so why not the Iron Lady? Ms. Streep hasn’t won an Oscar since 1984 for Sophie’s Choice but she gets nominated for every freakin’ movie she is in. The Academy likes her. Or maybe it’s more correct to say they like to announce their affection for her without giving her the statuette? 

Hugo: Martin Scorsese claims it’s the only movie his kids can watch and it looks like something he did out of obligation to his wife and kids. Getting prices for it must be a big bonus.

The Help
: Every now and then a movie like The Help creates big buzz and big praise for portraying something (friendship, bravery, loyalty etc.) that Hollywood is expert in marketing as something special and extraordinary when it’s really not.  

Bridesmaids: Everyone seems to be ‘blown away’ by Melissa McCarthy’s performance in this overly stupid comedy about a group of bridesmaids who, in one particular scene goes wild in a bride shop (read: the bathroom) after they get food poisoned. The only relief this movie gave me was the love affair between the main character and her cop boyfriend. It ultimately had a touch of reality.

My Week with Marilyn
: What can I say? Another Weinstein movie.

The girl With the Dragon Tattoo: I’ve seen the original Swedish trilogy based on Stieg Larsson’s bestselling novels and to top the performance of Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander sounds pretty impossible to me. But hey let’s look on the bright side Mara Rooney: At least you get to play opposite Daniel Craig (as Blomquist). That has to be the best perk about this role.   

War Horse:
Steven Spielberg has done about everything there is to be done in the movie industry but apparently he missed out on the war/horse combination on his resume. What is next? Science Fiction/Seahorse?

Midnight in Paris: Will Woody Allen be present at the Academy Awards because his new movie is nominated? Who cares?

Albert Nobbs:
 Glenn Close is playing a guy opposite another woman who pretends to be a guy to conceal her identity as an artist. I’m confused! If I wanted to watch an actress playing something out of the ordinary I don’t think I would watch Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs. It’s not that she’s not a good actress. She was fearless in Damages. Let’s put it this way: If she was playing a guy playing a drag queen now that would be something to talk about!

Whom did I forget? Billy Crystal! He’s hosting again after an odd Eddie Murphy stunt; he’s hosting; he’s not. Let’s be honest: Last year’s hosts (Anne Hathaway and James Franco) were a disaster. What were they thinking? Obviously we're anxious to see Billy Crystal as host once again. Will he make another joke about Jack Nicholson this year? He better not.